The Reason You're Not Asking for Support
We all know that one person—the one who seems to have it all together.
They are always put together, never seem to falter, and always have an answer for everything. DEFINITELY NOT ME!
We look up to them and think, "if only I could be like them." But…what we don't see is their struggle behind closed doors: the late nights, the early mornings, the endless worrying, self-doubt, and fear. What we don't see is the person who is just as scared as we are, but they've learned how to ask for help. And that is the secret!
I have heard it many times – "I can’t ask for help! What will they think? How will that look?”
And do you know what I say, YES YOU CAN!
So instead of stressing yourself out, worrying incessantly, over-extend, and committing ourselves to everyone and everything to escape our problems, concerns, and fears only to have them grow, you can choose something else.
Let me repeat. YOU CAN choose something different for yourself.
The truth is we can’t allow the fear of judgment to be greater than our need to have the life we want.
We worry that others will see us as weak or incompetent. But the truth is, everyone needs help from time to time. Asking for help does not make you weak or soft. It makes you human. And more often than not, people are more than happy to help.
What could you risk if you don’t ask for help both professionally and personally?
You may risk your reputation. Imagine you are at work and don’t ask for clarification on something confusing. It’s better to ask for help immediately than give in to your ego.
You alienate others and lose trust. Those around you may question if they can collaborate with you if they need help.
Missed opportunities to grow. Learning from others is truly the best way to grow in our personal and professional lives. Networking and communicating with those around you are essential.
Your mental health. Isolation is lonely. Reduce your stress and delegate or learn how you can do something more efficiently.
So what causes this fear of being judged?
In my experience, it has to do with low self-esteem. An individual with low self-esteem tends to undervalue themselves and neglect their needs. Frequently this means putting other people’s needs before their own and feeling like a burden.
Another issue I find is that we as a society are hardwired to be independent and take pride in being self-sufficient because no one wants to be considered “needy.”
The irony is that most people like helping others and needing help does not make us “needy.”
Needing help makes us human
With practice, you can get better at asking for help without fear of judgment. So to help you get started, I invite you to join me this month for my live webinar, 12 Steps from Crazy: Your Roadmap to Find Joy, Happiness & Connection.
People are problem solvers. Even if they can’t help you with your problem, maybe they know someone who can. Collaboration and communication can really connect people. By asking for help, you can build relationships with those around you and allow others to share their information and resources.
Imagine the amount of freedom that can give you!
So the next time you find yourself struggling, remember that it's okay to ask for help. You don't have to do it all on your own. Let others in and see how much lighter the load can be. Trust me, and you'll be glad you did.
Until next time…
✨ Light & Love